Vocabulary:

1.         Cookie:  a small, round, sweet tasting dessert.
2.         Crumb:  a small piece of food (such as bread, cookie, or something similar) that breaks apart. 
3.         Shore:  the place where the ocean/water meets the land (like a beach)
4.         Tide:  the rise and fall of the waters of the ocean
5.         Boy Scouts:  an organization that teaches boys about life skills, camping, survival skills, citizenship, and many other skills
6.         Parachute:  an umbrella-shaped cloth that one uses to jump safely from an airplane or other extreme height. 
7.         pilot:  someone who flies a plane

Text of the audio:

 Hi!  I’m James Stapleton.  I’m going to tell you three jokes. 

 #1  Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he felt crummy.
(A “crumb” is a small piece of food that breaks apart, such as a small piece of bread or cookie.  To feel “crummy” means to feel ill, not well, in a bad mood, etc)

 #2  What did the shore say to the tide?
Long time no see (sea).
(“Long time no see” is a common expression used when one hasn’t seen someone in a long time.  “Sea” is another word for an ocean or large body of water). 

 #3  There were three guys in a plane that was going to crash.  The first guy is the smartest man in the world.  The second guy is a Boy Scouts kid and the third guy is the pilot of the plane.  There are only 2 parachutes. 

The smartest man in the world jumped out with one of the parachutes and said, “The world needs me!”

The pilot says to the Boy Scouts kid, “I’ve lived my life, you go ahead and take the parachute.” 

The kid replied, “No worries.  The smartest man in the world just jumped out of the plane with my backpack!”